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Why is forgiveness necessary? It is necessary for our own mental survival. We cannot live in a quagmire of unresolved difficulties and resentments. Living in unforgiveness is like being in quicksand. If we don’t forgive, we will sink beneath the surface and not reappear. Our lives will be lost in trying to right old wrongs. Continually we will have to justify to ourselves the throwing of embers and coals onto the fires of our hatred. Such an expenditure of energy is a colossal waste. Jesus Christ, the founder of Christianity, demanded that those who follow Him be forgiving people. In a number of ways He underscored the importance of forgiveness. In the gospel of Matthew, chapter 18, He instructed His disciples about the need to confront a brother or a sister who is offensive and causes hurt. He gave a procedure for the church to follow in dealing with differences and offenses among Christians. This involved a private conversation between the offender and the person offended. If that did not come to a resolution, the instruction was to take others along. And if that did not lead to a solution, then the offender should be excluded from the life of the congregation. As He described this process, Peter, who was listening carefully, had a number of questions arise in his mind. One of those questions was concerning the offending party asking for forgiveness. In the religious culture he grew up in the tradition was that one should forgive another three times and not beyond that. The religious leaders of the Jews felt that three was a sufficient number. After that, it was perfectly permissible to exclude the person from the synagogue, or Jewish place of worship, or to simply avoid the person, if it was a private matter. Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” Matthew 18:21 Peter actually doubled the number given by the religious leaders and added one more to it. In doing this he probably felt morally superior to the Pharisees or the religious leaders of the Jews. He was not at all prepared for what Christ was going to tell him. Christ responded, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.” He said that we should forgive up to four hundred and ninety times. I don’t think his point was that we should keep track of all the instances where we have forgiven another, then when they hit four hundred and seventy reject the person from our life. Instead, Christ was giving an unusually high number to underscore the fact that forgiveness should be offered every time that the offending party asks for it. Or to extend it even if the offender does not ask for it. Probably Peter wore an astounded expression on his face when he heard Jesus say these things. Christ responded to that expression by telling Peter a story. Such stories were always used by Christ to get around our defenses and help us to understand truth. Jesus went on to say that the kingdom of God, God’s reign on the earth, may be compared to a certain king who wished to settle accounts with his slaves: And when he had begun to settle them, there was brought to him one who owed him ten thousand talents. Matthew 18:24 Ten thousand talents is the equivalent to 10,000 years of wages. So if we take a theoretical wage of $50,000 a year and multiply it by 10,000 years, the end result is astronomical. The slave owed an immense amount of money that he could not possibly repay. In the culture of 2000 years ago, the king had the authority to sell the man and his family so as to at least get some money out of the person by the sale. He commanded this to be done. Immediately the slave fell down on his knees and begged that he be given time. If he was given such time, he said, he would be able to repay everything. What the slave asked, he could not possibly do. It was impossible in many lifetimes to repay this enormous amount. His entreaties and sobbing and supplications were so intense that the king actually had compassion on him. He released him and forgave the debt. The king exhibited an unusual amount of compassion. The debt was enormous. Yet he freely chose to do that due to the sympathy in his own heart. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, “Pay back what you owe.” So his fellow slave fell down and began to entreat him, saying, “Have patience with me and I will repay you.” Matthew 18:28-29 The second slave said exactly what the first slave said to the king. Jesus made sure that the words were repeated word for word. The slave who owed the immense amount was choking the life out of the other slave who owed him a hundred denarii, or a hundred days’ wages. The hundred days’ wages was a pitiably small amount compared to what was essentially a national debt owed by the first slave. The slave doing the choking, however, did not give an opportunity to his fellow slave to pay back this debt. Instead, he threw him into prison until he could pay back the debt. Other slaves were watching and were upset with what they saw. Having seen the events inside the king’s courtroom, they saw these other events outside. They went back to the king and told him exactly what that slave had done to the other. The king exploded in anger and called the huge debtor in. He berated him and said to him: “You wicked slave, I forgave you all that debt because you entreated me. Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave, even as I had mercy on you?” Matthew 18:32-33 Since he was the authority in the land, what the king did was lawful. Out of his anger he handed the slave over to the torturers until he would repay everything owed. Such would probably not happen in the slave’s lifetime, so he was relegated to a life of pain. What is the point of this story? It’s a simple one. We, as the children of God, who have been forgiven the immense debt that we owe God, are called upon to do one major thing for those who offend us. That thing is to forgive them. We who have been forgiven much should extend that forgiveness to others. God knows every one of our faults and wrongdoings. When He forgives us all of them, they are cleansed away and He treats us as if we have done nothing wrong at any time. Of course, this is immense grace and kindness. Since we have been recipients of that, it is only reasonable that we should turn and be kind to others. This story ends with the application: "So shall My heavenly Father also do to you, if each of you does not forgive his brother from your heart." Matthew 18:35 What is the torture that the child of God receives when he or she does not extend forgiveness? The child enters the torture of his or her own resentment, dislike, and hatred. Such torture can be unlimited. Moreover, God, as a good Father, begins to bring discomfort and pain into the believer’s life so that the believer recognizes that something is wrong. The Spirit of God withholds His blessing, and the growth of spiritual qualities within the life of that believer ceases. Such torture goes on until the believer faces the contradiction of what he or she is doing. The contradiction is that having been the recipient of infinite grace and not extending it to others is a betrayal of the gift and a slap in the face to the donor, God Himself. It is not only psychologically important to forgive; it is spiritually important to forgive. If there is any rule that binds the family of God together, it is the significance and greatness of forgiveness. All of us have reasons to justify the holding of a grudge, but none of us have the ability to bear the pain that endless hatred and resentment bring. That pain will affect our lives in profoundly negative ways. Out of a desire for serenity and sanity, we should forgive.
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A healthy life demands the healthy
practice of forgiveness. True forgiveness has a deeply
profound effect upon the forgiver. The forgiver goes from an
atmosphere of discontent and resentment to one of peace and joy.
Such a transition cannot be underestimated as to its value.
